What does success look like?

Hint: Sometimes it looks like a kick in the teeth

So I’ll be honest. Patience is so NOT my virtue. I want everything done and I want it done yesterday. My brain works in a really high gear so I find it really frustrating doing anything slow. Now my life is in a huge transition at the mo. Now it might just be Mercury being a bit of a nob again but my world is definitely on the up level. Now what is interesting for you to know is that some time positive change feels really uncomfortable.

Let me explain. At the minute my finances are shot to shit because we’ve just moved into a beautiful 4 bedroom house and filled it full of beautiful new furniture. Im recovering from PTSD and am living in a constant state of anxiety (due to the PTSD) Im exhausted pretty much constantly (coz ya know two toddlers waking up at stupid o’clock will do that to a soul)  and im pivoting my business so im not making any profit at the minute.

So what does that mean for you, dear reader? What I means is that when we think we get the life we want, we think it will arrive with smiles and a marching band trumpeting in its arrival. Ta daaaaa! Here it is! The life you’ve always dreamed of!

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What I didn’t expect, and what you probably didn’t either, is that changing your life can actually be painful, uncomfortable emotionally, and stressful as f***

Yes im skint, because I have a beautiful new house full of shiny new stuff (that was on my vision board) Kids screaming through the night – I always dreamed of having a house full of amazing little mini me’s running around, business in flux – I dreamed that I would one day walk out on stage talking to thousands of people, giving them hope. But as Richard Branson said “You can’t be big in business without starting out small’ and it takes years to be an over night success.

So whilst all these situations im working through at the minute are stressful as f***, they are actually the process in which my dreams are coming to reality. ‘Coz guess what? It’s like giving birth. You cook those dreams for years, you work diligently towards those goals. Having a few kicks along the way. Being terrified but committing to it anyway. Then one day boom, the pains start. But are you keep going no matter what or you gona cower away? Because once you get through the really painful part you learn to have faith.

That’s the point of all the pain!

To give you faith in yourself and your own amazing capabilities.

Faith that what you want will come along eventually.

But you have to recognise it when it does. Now if I was still afflicted by what I like to call ‘Poor Me Syndrome’, I’d be walling in self pity about how stressful life is right now. But I recognise this is my birthing process. This is the transition point of my life (again. Coz yeah, you’ll go through it more then once!) but what I wanted to tell you, was what my daughter said this morning when we were talking about how we’ll live when we’re milllionaires and she said

 ‘Great now all we have to do is wait for that future to appear’

Because that’s what you do. You set the vision for your life and you work towards it no matter what. Thrive on failure, expect it to be a challenge, but have faith that it’ll all work out in the end.

My beautiful amazing wise beyond her years little girl, reminded me that I manifested this future but as im finally drawing it in to me, I started to slip into old bad mental habits and was beginning to panic because it felt uncomfortable.

Well of course it does! It’s a whole new life im living. One my brain isn’t used to! So instead of stressing, I see the gifts I am being given. The new life I’ve been gifted and if it feels uncomfortable now, well, that’s ok. We have to mentally rise up to meet these new challenges and learn to be comfortable with the new uncomfortable.

So when your life goes to pot and on the surface it looks like all hell is breaking loose, take a closer look my friend, because underneath the cracks, an amazing new life might be immerging.

Pain is temporary but happiness, well, that’s worth fighting for.

Break the rules and set yourself free

So I learned something really cool recently that is a big ‘aha’ on how to unlock your amazing life. Now I kind of already knew this but,  when you’re learning anything new, it needs to be presented to you in a few different ways before it sinks in. SO, what I learned was we are basically all 7 year olds running round ruling the world.

Shocking huh?

Let me explain,

Ever heard the saying ‘Give me a boy till he’s seven and I’ll show you the man’? Yeah well its true because in early adolescence our conscious mind isn’t developed enough to control our behaviour. We are solely driven by our subconsciousness which has a wonderful ability to live in the moment, not worry about things that haven’t happened yet and explore the world around us with a zest for life that some of us unfortunately loose as we get older.

Now the thing that I find really interesting and that made me go ‘Aha’ is that during our early childhood and adolescence, we are governed not by our own free will, but everyone elses rules about what we should and shouldn’t do.

Or more importantly, who we should be. Did you parents want you to be quiet and submissive? Were you told to not explore the world around you because “you could fall” Were you told to “sit still”, “pay attention”, “be good”. All admiral demands for the given situation I’m sure. But what if you were given instructions that stifled your creativity or suppressed that wonderful adventurous soul you had?

 Or worse yet, were taught that if you’re angry its ok to blame the nearest person to you, to kick and punch and hurt them in order to make yourself feel better. Or to lie and cheat and manipulate those around you?

So we are subjected to a variety of external input that stamps our subconscious mind with a list of rules and regulations that we, in our beautiful childhood innocence, take as the gospel truth. And so as we grow into adulthood and our conscious mind takes over the driving seat, we find ourselves propelled along by rules that will, if you’re not aware of them, put a big fat blocker on the future that you are working so hard to create.

So I want you to have a little think. And if you can be arsed, write a little list of what your family norms are. Good and bad, what was your family’s culture?

My family culture on my Mums side was one of love, tenderness, reassurance and unconditional support. My Dads side of the family was very different. Fortunately my Mum became my primary role model and whilst she taught me to be a strong, kind and compassionate lady, she also taught me that I have to work hard to earn money, that success comes with sacrificing family time and that we will always have just enough. And those subliminal messages are the ones that got me to a good job with a decent wage but the latter where also the ones that stopped me fulfilling my true potential;

For a time.

Until I became aware of my upper limits. I learned that we’re living our lives by someone else’s rules.  And you don’t have to. You can choose to recognise your self limiting behavior.

Recognise who gave you this belief. And more importantly. You can tell yourself a new story and become the director of your own life. And that’s when the magic really happens.

Happiness is a choice.

Always xx

Image courtesy of James Wheeler

Image courtesy of James Wheeler

Are you resonating or resisting?

So as some of you know I’m very into spiritualism, woo woo stuff and magik. However I am also a major geek with a passion for science and the reason I love woo woo stuff like the Law of attraction is because I understand and love the laws of physics , metaphysics and quantum mechanics.

When we think of the law of attraction we think of manifesting like a form of magik. If I make a wish it may or may not come true. But what I wanted to speak to you today about is this: You are a walking mass of vibrating atoms. And if you imagine that for a minute, it’s pretty mind boggling. Like where do you begin and the floor stops? What holds us all together? If I cuddle my kids do we merge on subatomic level just for a minute?

I don’t have the answers, but I do know that our bodies are vibrating or should I say harmonising. And by shifting our thoughts, feelings and actions we can shift our vibration. You can also do this by singing, mediating (This is why the OM mantra is a big thing as it changes the vibration in your meridians) eating the right foods, laughing and if Messages in Water is to be believed, just the words we use can have a massive effect on our vibration and therefor our happiness.

But what really got me thinking was a post I saw on a friends face book feed which said:

Are you resonating or are you resisting?

And it blew me away.

Such a simple but life changing statement. Are you: your body your mind your actions vibrating in line with the life you want to live or are you resisting it on a subatomic level!?

So one of the big things I’m consciously in line with is attracting more business (Obviously. I’ve got a world to change dudes and that takes money as well as positive action) But actually I realised that I am subconsciously resisting it.

I’m not in line with it at all because when I think of taking on more clients I get a block in my solar plexus because I already invest  90% of my time in the 4 little superstars im raising at home and the thought of giving any more energy to anyone is daunting to say the least. Even though I know I love it, even though I know I’m helping people fulfill their dreams, even though I know its changing the world. But if im honest, I just can’t be arsed!

And that’s ok. Because I recognise it’s actually a form of fear of success. Because I recognise I don’t have to burn myself out any more. I chose not to be part of the rat race any more, so why would I put so much pressure on myself? Because I’ve achieved everything I wanted to this year. Because I stayed in resonance with the things I wanted. NOT the things I thought I should have.

So I wanted to ask you: this life you dream of? These things you want? Are you resonating with them or are you resonating with resistance? Because once you’re aware of it, you can shift it.

When you think of that thing, what do you sense in your body? A feeling of ease and joy or a sense of closer? Of a metaphysical wall going up?

Because your thoughts actions and beliefs change your resonance. So if you want that thing but don’t physically feel you can or should be allowed to have it, you’re never going to manifest it.

I think, therefore I am.

I resonate therefore I attract.

Or I resist therefore I repel.

The choice, as always, is yours my friend

 

What would you do if you weren't afraid?

So have you noticed that sometimes you think ‘When I have the money I will do ..’

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Now have you also noticed that if you kids suddenly turn round and say they want to learn Kung Fu* or dancing you will literally move Heaven and Earth to give them that opportunity?

Why? Because we want our kids to be happy. We want our kids to understand the joy of exploring new things and trying out something new because we hope, somewhere in the back of our minds, that thing might be something that the absolutely love and will help them become a happier adult. That the’ll find their passion and have a wonderful career because of it.

Now what I can’t wrap my head around is why we don’t give ourselves the same opportunities. Or invest in ourselves in the same way.

Let me give you an example. I know someone who’s got a rip in their trainers. 6 months ago. And every time I see them, the rips still there. However, I also know that that person also paid £600 for a designer coat their teenager wanted. Are they loaded? No.  Did she have a spare £600 to throw around? No. Did she have to work her arse off and save up? You bet she did. But she won’t do the same for herself. I mean she has a catalogue so she could easily just order herself a new pair of trainers but she won’t. Because it’s ingrained in her behaviour that her children’s happiness is more important than her own.

But she’s got it all wrong. Because getting herself new shoes wont detract from anything. Its not like if she buys new shoes she wont be able to feed the kids. It’s not a financial problem. It’s a mindset one.

What it actually boils down to is a feeling of guilt about putting your needs first. But the crazy thing is no one cares! Do you think her children would think she’s being selfish if she bought herself new shoes? Nope. Infact, they’re teenagers, they probably wouldn’t even notice!

But this feeling of guilt can hold us back. The feeling of ‘everyone else is more important than me’ is not a conscious thought. But it is a driving one. And it might very well be the one that’s holding you back.

So I wanted to ask you, what would you love to do?

Now wait! What feeling popped up then??

When you thought of that thing you’ve always wanted to do, what feeling followed it?

Because its that thing that’s holding you back from true happiness. You can do these things. You can find a way. You will find the money. Because that’s not the issue, even though that’s what it looks like on the surface.

I want you to be happy. I want you to live each day with a smile on your face. So go and try something new. Go invest in yourself as much as you do for your kids.

It’s ok to want things. It doesn’t make you selfish or spoiled. When you were a kid and you asked for something you’re normally told no. Can I have more cake, more ice cream, that toy. No, no, no. Because our parents know we are asking out of impulse. But you’re an adult now. You are allowed to have what you want. What you dream of. What you really really want. And more importantly, what your souls calling out for.  

Dreams do come true, but you have to make them your priority. No one else will give you them.

So go and invest in yourself. Make yourself smile. Because when you’re happy, you light up the world round you. And that sets a really good example to your kids. Because what of that thing that your soul is calling for, actually turns out to be your happy ever after?

* Ok its not Kung Fu but check out this video. Seriously this girl is amazing. So devoted to her training and massively talented. See this is what I mean by throw yourself into your passions 110%. Who knows where it’ll lead. Don’t let fear hold you back. Ever!

#warriorsheart

Credit: Jesse Jane McParland (IRL) Junior WAKO World Championships 2014 courtesy of

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When more then enough stops you succeeding

So something really random occurred to me recently. Now obviously being an entrepreneur, im on the hunt for my first and reoccurring millions. Now there is a pretty awesome reason for this. Not for glory or gold. But for something that will change the world. But I’ll talk about that another day. NO, the thing I wanted to talk to you about is being comfortable with more than enough.

Image courtesy of  The Walt Disney Company  and Johnny Depp

Image courtesy of The Walt Disney Company and Johnny Depp

Which is pretty random. As I’ve already written this weeks blog, but the powers that be are nudging me to write about excess and being comfortable with more than enough. (Which is probably a baaad idea as I’m currently riding a Rum filled buzz. But hey when heaven calls we have to answer, right?)

So there’s someone out there who needs to read this today. So here you go. My rum filled insight.

When your life has hit the pan and finances are non existent we find ourselves living in ‘not enough’. Now finances are a spectrum disorder. And you can find yourself anywhere on that spectrum.  From no were near enough, to living in spectacular abundance.

But what I learned from going bankrupt, and from later investing several thousand in studying money mindset, is that it’s very difficult to quantum leap the stages. As some great philosopher said (Possibly Richard Brandson or maybe Morgan Freeman I can’t remember) There are no short cuts to success. Everyone has to take the stairs.

And what I’ve learned is that our upper limit may at first be not enough. Where each week your minus something. At one piant My family of 4 was living on £100 per week but our rent was £105! That’s without food, petrol, gas electric and all the other necessaties of life! But what I learned was that once you are aware of that self limiting belief (that there is never enough) you can work towards having just enough. You know those weeks were you’re not flushed, but you’re not scrabbling for your last few bob to get a loaf of bread.

And once we reach that point on a consecutive basis we can work towards having more than enough. For me this was simply a conscious effort for each week to leave £10 in the account. The ten became twenty.

But what that lesson taught me was that having more than enough was a vastly out of my comfort zone. Ever noticed how when you get a pay raise within a few months your budget is up to its hilt again? Earning an extra few hundred a month? What do we do? Get a bigger house, more expensive car, more expensive holidays! Because although our income has changed, out spending habits haven’t and money mindset hasn’t! Because our income level is set to just enough and we have to work at being comfortable of having more then enough!

And it is this. This! That holds us back. From financial freedom. From living your wildest dreams because having more than enough is alien to most of us. No matter how much we earn.

And do you know how this presented to me? Every where!

Don’t give the kids too much juice. Too much time in the paddling pool. Too many beers at a BBQ. Don’t spend too long at the gym. Or waste too much time doing your hair! Don’t over indulge, don’t take more than is fair -  how many times do we hear that growing up? Only take a fair share!

But there isn’t a limiti! The pie doesn’t shrink with each potion, the pie expands to all those who need it. That is the nature of the law of attraction. To fill your own cup and in doing so let more flow!

So what’s the secret? Simply my friend: to get comfortable with having more than your fair share. Tough isn’t it? And I don’t mean that in a sarcastic way but rather then it goes so against our nature. We are born wanting everything in the world. All the wonder and joy. But we are taught if we take too much, it’s selfish. There are people in need.

But what would you do with the excess? Squirrel it away or bring more joy to the people around you? I know what my pre-set is. Giving to others comes easy . Having abundance for ourselves takes a little more work.

So go forth my friend. Seek out abundance for just your pleasure. Find the memories that tell you this was a bad thing. Do you want to know what it was for me? Do you want to know how singularly shocking it was? Where all this ‘too much is bad’ stemmed from?

When I was at a school party when I was 5 I there was a class party and I ate so many sweets I threw up! And this. Fucking THIS is what has been keeping me small! How pathetic is that? The five year old brain holding me back. If I have too much or if I give too much to my kids it will make them ill! How pathetic is that?

So my question to you is this: What would happen if you had more than your fair share? What would the cost be? Who would suffer? And more importantly: where the hell does that stupid memory come from?

Then and only then can you set yourself free, when you can live comfortably with more than enough. That is our right. To live in abundance. All of us. Not just the determined few xx

 

Is lack of confidence holding you back?

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So I was at an amazing wedding at the weekend. One I’d been looking forward to all year. I had my hair done, my beautiful silk dress on. And I felt amazing. But actually back in the day, I never used to feel confident. Now if you met me in real life that would surprise you. I’ve been called cocky and arrogant. But I wanted you to know something. Confidence isn’t a gift. It’s something you take.

Something you make your own.

I have a friend who is like the shyest person you’d ever meet. But they have an amazing personality. They’re just too scared to let it shine. And it breaks my heart. Because they think people like me are born this way. That its an unachievable goal for people like them. But it’s not.

Life has pushed me to be this way.

To step up.

 To be seen.

To make my opinions count.

But it didn’t come naturally to me. I had to push myself constantly out of my comfort zone to achieve it. By wearing the clothes I wanted to wear instead of the ones I thought I ‘should’.

By having fun hair styles and my own sense of style. By speaking up when I wanted to hide away. For going out when I wanted to stay in.

And that’s what I wanted to speak to you about today. Are you being true to yourself? Are you allowing your amazing self to shine through? Or are you holding yourself back?

Our brains like to keep us safe. Habits, comfort zones, are all there to keep us small. To keep us protected. But that won’t help if you’ve got a big dream you wish to fulfil.

So I want you to take a long hard look at yourself. To ask yourself where am I holding myself back? And more importantly what do I need to do to cross that threshold?

A lot of the time it looks like a huge mountain to climb, but that’s fear talking. Like my friend is terrified of talking to anyone new. I remember being that shy. Then I spent 20 years working with the public and had no choice but to talk to any random person. So now im really good at it. All because I ignored that voice that told me to hide and did it anyway.

As the books says, ‘feel the fear and do it anyway.’

Step out your safety zone dude. Pursue the life you’ve always dreamt of.

So what if you stumble and fall or get it wrong along the way. That’s how we learn. That’s how we grow.  Life’s too short to not step into your best self. Whatever that might mean for you

 

Is Killer Underwear Ruining Your Life?

I noticed something recently that was one of those aha light bulb moments but then you want to kick yourself for not thinking of it sooner. So lads, this will be a bit of obscure one, but stick with me, it’ll all make sense by the end, promise.

So obviously the year after you have kids your body has to repair and rebuild itself. But as a Mum your sleep deprived, hormones are all over the place, your stomach is doing its own thing, your boobs have a mind of their own, nothing fits while your body reshapes itself and just keeping on top of the housework is a major effort. So we often have no energy left to look after ourselves. We buy ‘that’ll do clothes’ because we know they’re only gonna get vomited on any way. So it’s easy to let yourself slip. Now twice I’ve had two kids in two years. So that exhaustion times a million. Worth it, don’t get me wrong, but it’s bloody hard too.

Now, im not one to let myself slip. I’ve studied the body and have always looked after mine as you would a cherished  sports car. But what I did do was buy that’ll do bra’s. I’ll just wear these for a couple of months then get myself something nicer in the summer. Yeah right. I realised lately, to my shock and horror. I bought these bras after baby number 3. He’s now 3! Those bras have seen me through baby number 4s pregnancy too.

Now they’re not wrecked. But they certainly aint glamous either. But what I had failed to notice (and the reason for this blog) is they just didn’t fit right any more.

So what I realised was they dug in and it bugged me. All fucking day. Lads imagine wearing underpants a size too small. Then going the gym.  To do squats. It’s bloody uncomfortable.

But like a lot of things you can’t immediately change, you just get used to it. That doesn’t mean it stop bugging ya. Instead of it being at the forefront of your thoughts, it gradually moves to the back of your head so it’s still there annoying you but you just don’t pay it any attention any more.

So getting pissed off with a daily bra choke hold, I took myself off to Victoria Secrets because I figured if im going to be wearing bras for years paying £40 for one is a good investment. I was sick of having ‘that’ll do’ underwear. My tired body deserved better.

And do you know what the next day when I put on my new bras it was bliss. I literally sighed with the relief. Girls you know at the end of the day when you take your bra off and go ‘ahhhh that’s better’ yeah it was like but in reverse.

And what really shocked me over the next few days was how much I was pissed off just because my bra’s were bugging me. I had this underlying irritation that was constantly annoying me and it was making me ratty and affecting my (and my kids) happiness big time and I wasn’t even aware of it! I was constantly in an irritated state which made me more narky as a parent.

Which got me thinking: well what the hell in my life is bugging me that im also putting up with? Which is I wanted to talk to you about. Does any of this sound familiar:

Shoes too tight but you wear them anyway? Hole in your socks but you keep forgetting to throw it away? Bought a different brand of coffee that you don’t like but drink it anyway? Piece of wall paper hanging off in a corner that bugs you every time you look at it? Reading a book that don’t enjoy but are trying to finish it regardless? Don’t like how busy the morning rush is in but can’t be arsed getting up earlier? I once deleted 5000 emails from my spam and the next day I felt like a big weight had been lifted. I couldn’t believe how something so intangible was dragging me down.  Honestly its amazing the crap we put up with.

Do you want to know why?

Because we’re resilient. It’s in our nature to endure. That’s what makes us awesome and successful. But it’s also a hindrance.

There’s a wonderful story that’s always stuck in my head. Once upon a time a traveller was walking through some fields when he came to a farm. There was horrible howling sound coming from the dog lying on the porch. Worried sick and thinking the dog was dying the traveller rushed up to the farmer and asked ‘Is your dog ok?’

‘Oh yeah’ the famer laughs ‘He’s just laying on a stone. It doesn’t hurt him enough to move but it bothers him enough to moan about it all day’.  Sound familiar?

I guarantee we all know someone who moans about everything. So lets not be like that dog. Lets get rid of the crap that’s bothering us. So here’s some homework: I want you to make a snag list of everything little thing that’s bugging you. All the stupid small stuff that annoys you just enough to bother you but not enough to actually do anything about it.

Well were gona change that. Once you’ve done a list stick it by your kettle. And every time you make a brew I want you to have a look at your list and think about how you can improve one thing. Start with the easy ones first. Once you start crossing stuff off your list you be amazed at how much happier you’ll feel. Do you know why? Because happiness is a choice. Always

Is fear of success secretly torpedoing your career?

So I had an epiphany the other day. We’ve all heard of ‘fear of success’ and on the surface you go ‘Yeah, ok, I can sort of see how some people might be bothered by that. But not me’

But then a funny thing happened. I was just walking up the road minding my own business (as you do) when this thought came barrelling through my head:

‘Agghhh I just haven’t got the energy for any more clients, I’m so knackered’ and then it hit me.

‘Oh so this it what fear of success looks like!’ It was not how I imagined it at all!

So me being me and liking to know the ins and outs of everything went,

 ‘Well where the hell did that come from?’

You see I love my job. I love helping people. And I love getting paid, obviously. Yes im knackered. But hey I’ve got 4 kids, that’s normal. I haven’t had a decent nights kip since 2009!

So I took a closer look. When I thought of being busy in work I got this anxiety knot in my stomach. And do you know where it stems from? All the way back in 2005!

I used to work for a very famous rail company who bought a fleet of shiny new silver trains costing several million each. So in order to recuperate those losses they cut back on staff. Big time.

Ever heard the term Maximum Working Minimum Rest? Yeah that was our life back then. I had to do 12 hours shifts by myself on trains that were what we call ‘Full and Standing’ which in laymen’s terms means crammed in like sardines. I got verbally abused, threatened, intimidated by a fella who was twice my height and twice my width. (it didn’t work though. I may be petite but im a scouser, we don’t scare easily!) Anyway, one of my colleagues got sexually assaulted because a customer thought it would be a perfectly fine to shove his hand up her skirt. It was hell! I remember getting off a particularly bad football train with my hands shaking, my head pounding  and my throat horse from having to shout over the noise all day long.

Then there was the time I worked in a casino. On race night. When every sucka who’d ever watched a james bond film thought he was a big lick. (No one likes to be handed money straight from someones sweaty cleavage thank you very much. Needless to say that women never tried that again and FYI that little scruffy old smelly man next to you, yeah he’s just gambled away £10k in the last two hours so put you’re your big ‘I am’ attitude away dude) Casino’s aint like they show on TV! It involves a lot of shouting, constantly being on alert and more often than not, being swore at in Chinese!

So what I learned is: more customers equals more stress. And boom there you go. Fear of success. Which was quite a shocker as im very confident (some would even say cocky) and I’ve always striven to be the best at everything I do. So this was quite an eye opener to realise I was delibertly shying away from my own success.

So I figured well, if my subconscious is being a bit of know, maybe yours is secretly sabotaging you too. So I want you to keep an eye out. You know what your goals are right? You know what you want to achieve yeah? So I want you to take a good long look at yourself and see what comes up. What are the negative consequences of you achieving those thing? What’s your brain worrying about that you aren’t even consciously aware of?

I’m an optimist. I always look on the bright side. But what I’ve learned is that your subconscious tries to protect you because even those of us with an adventurist nature still have that little small caveman (or women) worrying at the back of minds.  And it tries to keep us small. Tries to keep us safe.

So if you’re not hitting your goals yet. Have  a word with yourself and find out actually deep down, why. Because once you know what you’re really worried about it’s easy enough to overcome. Half the time just knowing where the problem stems from takes the power away from it.

I want you to live the life you’ve always dreamed of. I know you can. I believe in you. So sort yourself out dude. And tell your little Neanderthal brain to pack it in. There’s a world out there that needs changin’ and you’re just the person to help do it.

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Do you secretly hate half term too?

So this is a bit of a delicate subject. I have a secret to tell.

I love my job and hate staying home with the kids. I know, I know, baaaadd Mummy. Bad Parent!

Let me explain. It’s just been half term. Two whole weeks of nothing to do but stay home and listen to four kids shout. And play. A lot. In surround sound and HD!

Now we had all kinds of plans of what to do with the kids. Take them the world museum. Go the park. Show them our beautiful Hogwarts style Central library here in Liverpool and show them where dreams and imagination become real.

We’ll take them for a swim we said. Or the fun house. Or a lovely stroll down our beautiful dock area that’s filled with history and culture and the arts.

Then it rained. A lot.

So we rested for few days, which turned into a week. Which then turned into two.

And do you know what happened?

We did fuck all. And I went stir crazy!

Now, because I’m well read and I love to study and, as Peppa Pig would say, ‘I am a clever clogs’ I knew exactly what was happening. But I just couldn’t be arsed doing anything about it. Because you’re brain is a funny thing.

The less you do, the less energy you have to do anything else. Ironic huh?

So here’s 4 things you didn’t know about your brain and how it can fuck you up.

1.       When you don’t achieve something, you become dopamine deficient which makes you feel depressed

2.       If you don’t get out in sunlight, you become vitamin D deficient which makes you feel like sad

3.       The more you sit around the more energy your body conserves and you’re body goes into a sort of waking coma (Not the technical term, but that’s what feels like)

4.       When the weather is overcast but not raining, it makes you feel drained (and gives you crazy dreams and headaches too!)

But I also knew another piece of key information. Sometimes we just need to bloody rest too.

So that’s what we did. Well, we did bake some cupcakes aswell.

Image Gremlins by Warner Bros. 1984

Image Gremlins by Warner Bros. 1984

But as the weeks dragged on a funny thing started to happen. I couldn’t wait to get back to work!

I know, crazy right?

But the truth is I’ve worked very hard to be my own boss. Because I’ve done the shitty 16 hour shifts. The 5am starts and 7am finishes. I’ve missed the family parties and when my niece (who I helped raise) was little, it crucified me dropping her off crying at nursery because I had to go to work.

So when I had my own little’uns, I drew the line. I took control of my future, my finances, MY TIME and I became my own boss.

And do you know. It’s tough. It takes years of work to become an overnight success.

But d’ya know what? I LOVE IT!

I love being creative. Like right now? It’s a Monday morning and I’m in my office rocking to some 90’s old skool dance tunes while I tell you that there is light at the end of the tunnel. That there is a career out there for you where you get to do what you LOVE and where you get to bring your light to the world; where you aren’t forced to leave your kids if you don’t want to. Or where you CAN spend all day at home with your kids if that’s what you love to do.

But you see that’s the mad thing and the thing that may makes me sound like a bitch. I actually hate being at home with my kids all day.

Summer holidays were a vicious cycle of cleaning, washing, cooking and doing never ending dishes while various toddlers cling to my legs. I hated it. I crave stimulation. My brain cries out for new and exciting things. I love how amazing the world is. How fascinating people are. And I crave adult conversation too. Watching Peppa Pig all day makes me want to blow my brains out.

And if your reading this and secretly thinking ‘Me too’ that’s ok. It doesn’t mean we’re bad people. It just means in order to be our best selves, in order to be A HAPPIER PARENT you need to make time for what you love to do too.

Because one of the biggest things I help my clients do, is find their magic so they can bring it to the world. Because when you light yourself up, you light up the world round you too.

And that includes your kids.

So if you love your kids and hate your career, go find a different one. There is literally thousands of jobs out there. If you love your kids but need time for yourself, make time. Some days I get up at 5:30am just so I can watch Frasier and enjoy my morning coffee in peace!

Go the gym, take up a sport, learn kung fu. Do that secret thing you’ve always wanted to do but didn’t think you could or should do. (For me it’s learning to sing, I sound like a cat in choke hold)

You deserve to be happy. You deserve a life of balance and joy and so do your kids. Find your light so your kids can see you shine because you CAN HAVE IT ALL!

You’ve just gotta find a way to do it, that’s all. I’m nothing spectacular. I’m a hard worker and got myself an education. But I grew up on a council estate to a single Mum who had to work two jobs to support us. The only thing that sets me apart is that I refused to give up when life knocks me back. And even thats just probably because I’m a stubborn cow!

I love work, it makes me feel fulfilled and thats nothing to be ashamed of. So don’t feel guilty if you enjoy your career. Not all of us are cut out to be stay at home parents. My husband loves it. When he finished his degree in psychology he decided, much to everyones horror, to be a stay at home Dad. So that’s his job. He stays at home and takes care of the family while I go out and take of care of my business. But I did have to say to some people ‘Why is it ok for a women to give up her career for their kids but not when a man does it?’ Everyone has a right to do what they love but we’ve been conditioned to fit into very rigid pigeon holes. The truth is we both love spending our days doing what we enjoy.

It’s much better then the days when we both had to work full time in jobs that crushed our souls and let our talents go to waste. But no one gave us this lifestyle. I had to go out and make it work for us.

And you can too. Do you want to know how? As soon as your little brain goes ‘I can’t do that’ I want you do go ‘No hang on there a minute mate, how CAN I do it?’

Because once your brain goes ‘I can’t’ it will stop working on the problem. But when you go ‘How can I?’ you wonderful little subconscious will go off, find itself a nice little stool in a quiet little nook inside your brain and sit there and ponder it until it finds a solution.

And that’s all it takes. The difference between success and failure. Saying ‘I will’ instead of ‘I can’t’.

And lets face it, if they can get a rocket on the moon surely you can find a way to have a career that you love. Right?

Cheeky Reset: What to do when life punches you in the gut. Again.

Blog: Cheeky reset

So first I must apologise for not talking to you for a while. I’ll be honest, it’s been a tough one lately. So you know how I always bang on about bad things happen for a good reason? Well something happened to me recently that floored me, just a bit.

And it’s taken me a few weeks to wrap my head round it.

I got spiked with the date rape drug.

I’m not a big raver. In fact, I never really was. I was always in work.

Now I’m a Mum of 4, I very rarely go out. Maybe 2 or 3 times a year tops.

But it was my Dad’s anniversary in April. Two years since he died. When it happened I was pregnant so didn’t have the luxury of wallowing in the loss.

The first year, I was coping with life after a newborn who was born 2 months early so this year, I really wanted to celebrate my Dads life. So my niece and I went for Tapas (My Dad loved Spain). We went out at 5ish, finished the meal at 7. Had a few drinks in quiet bar. At 9pm we moved on to another bar that I love. At 9:30 I text my husband to say goodnight.

By 10pm my niece and I were destroyed. She could barely stand up. I went from tipsy to shit faced wrecked in the space of about 10 minutes.

Now I’m not a big drinker, but I come from a long line of alcoholics on one side, and thoroughbred Irish on the other. So I can handle my ale.

Now as some of you might know from my ABOUT page, I was nearly raped on a night out. So when it comes to drinking, even when I’m thoroughly and happily drunk, I’m still hyper vigilant. I never leave my drinks unattended. I never let my friends go the toilet alone. If a gent comes up to me to chat, even when I’m rotten drunk, im still sussing them out, being wary. I don’t trust anyone. Which is sad, but true. I see everyone as a threat to me and mine. But it’s also a blessing, because I only let people near me who I trust on instinct. I’ve learned that my inner radar is very very good at sussing people out. Being Emphathic helps too (You can learn about that HERE)

So when all of a sudden I found myself inexplicably bladdered, as I watch my lovely, 18 year old niece almost sliding off the couch (She can hold her own too) my hyper vigilant nature threw my fight of flight response into high gear.

One minute we were at the table and I was trying to figure what had happened, the next thing I knew we where in a taxi on the outskirts of town pulled over while my niece vomited all over the street. I don’t even know how we got in the cab.

By the time we got home at 10:30 my husband had to carry us both out of the taxi because we could barely stand up.

And so ensued several hours of vomiting, shivering, and hysterics from me, of hours waiting for an ambulance. Of passing out and coming to. Of screaming my head off that terrified my poor kids asleep upstairs. I was so fucking angry and so fucking furious that someone could take away my control that I absolutely lost it. And I’ll be honest. It scared the shit out of me. Too many times in my life have I had my power taken away from me. Nearly being raped, nearly dying of pneumonia, being in the London bombings and that’s not even half of the stuff I’ve been through.

So it shook me up. Badly. And I didn’t quite know what to do with it. The first thing I learned is that thanks to all that shit I’ve been through, my hyper vigilance kept us safe. As soon as I knew this wasn’t my normal, I had us in a taxi and we off. I wasn’t even aware I was doing it (God bless you subconscious) God knows where we might of ended up if my paranoid brain hadn’t told me to run.

The other thing I learned was the importance of knowing yourself. Now I’ve been through a hell of a lot. But what I’ve learned in all the hell I’ve been through is who I am at my core. NO ONE can give you this information. You can’t by it on a course, or find your answers in a book (believe me I’ve tried) You only find out who you truly are when life tempers you. When it brings you up to breaking point, but stops before you snap. And the years of drinking, the happy nights out doing tequila shots and beer bongs, back in the good old days when it was buy one get one free on bottles of WKD and 50p shots, yeah I learned what drunk feels like for me. But do you want to know something? No matter how pissed I seem, no matter how drunk, I still think clearly. I’m still aware of who’s behind me, where the exits are, where the fire escapes are, where the token weirdo is who might be a threat. So I was able to recognise and react very very quickly when I recognised something was up.

No one can give you this information, but no one can take it away from you either. Knowing yourself through and through is the greatest and most powerful gift you can give yourself.

Who are you? Why do you do the things you do? Where did those reactions come from? What memories are driving your behavior?

I’m hyper vigilant because I’ve been through several life threatening situations. My brain lives in a place that sees everything as a threat. This isn’t normal although it is very common in people who’ve been through traumatic experiences and it is a major sign of PTSD.

(If you constantly worry something bad is going to happen its called General Anxiety. It’s also common in parents who panic about the safety of their kids especially if you’ve been through a traumatic birth. You should look in to Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) if you experience this)

Our actions and behaviours are fueled by the experiences we have. Which is great, because once you are aware of this, you can change it. Or use it to your advantage. By knowing yourself and what fuels your behaviour you can pick and choose which parts of your nature you love, and what bits you’d like to change.

To change a behaviour find the memory that causes it. Then forgive it, journal it away or adapt and learn a new way to handle similar situations.

The other thing I learned from this experience is that sometimes, life gives us an opportunity to do what my husband likes to call ‘A cheeky reset’.

career coach

So life punched me in the gut again. I got the wind knocked out of me, had to hit the deck for a while and keep my head down while I wrapped my brain around the trauma. Then once I figured it out, I jumped back in and carried on.

I love gaming (when I get the chance) so for all my fellow 90’s geeks, lets use Lara Croft as an example. Back in the days before you could spawn straight back in where you left off things were tough for us old skool gamers. I’m talking, get killed, have to start the whole frustrating level again. Well, that’s what happens in life. You fume because life killed you off for bit, but when you come back, you’re a little bit wiser. A little bit more in the ‘know’.

There are no failures in life. Yes sometimes it takes us a few frustrating goes to get passed each level. To climb up on to the next bit of enlightenment or get over your next hurdle. But you always feel a sense of achievement when you do. It would be no fun if it was easy. It’s in our nature to like a challenge.

So that’s what this was for me. A point in my life where it was game over, just for a while. Because I’m choosing to start over again. Im choosing to pick up where I left off. Because the game can’t beat you unless you choose to quit.

So the next time life floors you just remember it’s chance for you to start over and move forward wiser then you was before. It’s not game over. It’s not the end. It’s just a cheeky reset.

The Power of No! (and what we can learn from a good pint)

Photo by  rawpixel.com  from  Pexels

Photo by rawpixel.com from Pexels

So this weekend I was a wee bit stressed. So come Saturday night, after a long day juggling 4 kids, 4 meal times a poorly husband, housework and washing, by 8pm I needed a drink. Big time!

So I had a couple of beers in the fridge and poured myself a little larger and lime. I don’t normally drink at home, in fact, it’s very rare that I even have beer in the house. I only normal drink beer when I’m clubbing because bars in Liverpool are really busy and I drink too fast to waste a good night out queuing at the bar all night. But, I digress.

So I poured my beer in a glass, while I slumped on the couch with a big sigh of relief that my work for the day was done. Having quickly downed half my beer (as you do) I topped it up. But because I was knackered and not paying attention, I chucked it in any old way. And it quickly turned into half a pint of quickly raising foam.

And I wasn’t having it.

I couldn’t be bothered.

If that glass had foamed over I would have had to drag my tired arse the toilet to wash my hands, change my pjs and clean up the couch and carpet which are cream and brand spanking new.

So, I looked pointedly at my glass, pissed off and told it, in no uncertain terms, No.

And it carried on raising, teetering on the edge, just like a naughty kid, fraying on your last nerve.

So I glared at it and said point blank: NO!

And do you know what happened? It stopped.

Fizzing on the rim like no ones business. But it didn’t dare go over.

When I finished glaring at my glass Tonny looked at me in shock.

Then burst out laughing. ‘I can’t believe you’ve just done that’ he said ‘I can’t believe you’ve made that beer stop’

Because it should of gone over. But as I said to Tonny,

‘I just wasn’t going to accept a future with that beer foaming over was going to be my reality’ because I really couldn’t cope with one more stressful thing that day. I didn’t accept it, so it didn’t materialise. The law of attraction, used to my advantage.

And that’s what I wanted to talk about this week. The power of No.

Of saying, do you know what, I’ve had enough and I’m not taking any more of this crap. Because we’re taught to be managed. For life to rule us. For us to react. But some of us are fortunate enough to learn there’s a better way. That you can be in the drivers seat. That it’s ok to go after the things you want. Or push away the things you don’t want.

You create your reality. You can act instead of waiting to react.

You are the driving force in your life. Be brave enough to go after the life you’ve always dreamed of. Say NO! to anything that doesn’t feel good.

Don’t accept anything other than a future you love. Get in the drivers seat and put you’re bloody foot down. It’s your life. Make the most of it.

And for god sake, don’t ever waste beer!

 

Chin up sunshine, you can do it

So morning are pretty tough for me at the moment. I sacrificed my car in order to be able to afford a beautiful brand new four bedroom house. (Nope im not a 6 figure coach yet – but I’m fucking working on it😉) So mornings involve getting three out of four kids up, fed, dressed and out the door with two on scooters and the little’un going hell bent on his balance bike. We cross busy roads so I have my back pack on with my whatever business files I need for that week and my laptop (my gorgeous bags are thrown in the back of the wardrobe along with my stilettos because they aint very kid friendly, even if they are fabulous😭 ) Seriously, who knew the laptop lifestyle could be so damn heavy?!

After dropping the little’un off, panicking all the way in case something terrible happens (damn you strategic brain) I drop the two eldest off and head back towards my office carrying my bag and their scooters. Which are HEAVY because they are 3 wheeled and light up. And they are pretty awesome to be fair.

But I noticed something today, as I gently got soaked by the poring spring rain.

Photo by  Eric Sanman  from  Pexels

Photo by Eric Sanman from Pexels

I began to stoop. As the weight of the scooters dragged on my arms and my back began to fatigue after an hours worth of rushing, I started to wilt.

But because I’m me and I’m stubborn I immediately pulled myself up rather then admit defeat. And that’s when it hit me.

How important it is to stall tall.

How every now and again, when we feel the weight of life pushing on our shoulders. Crushing us under it’s weight, not always fully, but just enough to make us stoop.

Our natural reaction: to pull ourselves in and try to shrink as we plod along.

But don’t.

Please don’t.

Stand tall my friend.

The world needs you. You are an amazing spark of life and the world needs your gifts. Don’t believe me? Just take a minute and think of all the nice things you’ve done in this world.

All the people you’ve made smile. All the laughs you’ve had. You did that. You gave that gift to someone else. A smile on a train. A spare pen when someone needed one. A hot and passionate caress on a cold winters night.  A hug to a friend who needed a shoulder to cry on.

You did that. You gave those gifts to people, all down the length of your life. A brief moment that may have meant the world to someone else.

You’re happiness shines through all the crap. So you must nurture that spark within you. It’s the only thing that really matters.

To nurture the light within ourselves,

Because when you find it in yourself to shine, you light up the people around you. You make them happy too, just by being you.

So listen dude, and listen good.

Are you going to stoop or are you going to pull yourself up and stand tall?

The choice is up to you

Omen or Coincidence? How to tell the difference

Right this is a bit of a weird one (unless you’re like me, in which it will make total sense). We’ve all been there, right? When your stresssssed and your heads battered and you don’t know which way to turn and you go ‘Please God, please just tell me what the hell am I meant to do???’ and God, coz he’s a busy kind of dude, you know, managing the galaxy and all that, goes ‘Mmmm, leave it with me’ while you wait, frustratingly banging your head against the wall, non the wiser.

However, I noticed a few years ago that weird coincidences were always happening round me. I’ve been aware of omens since I got into to all this witchy stuff as a teenager. No I didn’t strip naked and dance like a weirdo in the moonlight (even during my cider swilling days) But that mystical stuff always fascinated me. The power of the mind. The power to heal. To give hints about the future.

career coach

So I know a bit about omens: black cats crossing your path. Counting magpies. Seeing money spiders and all that Jazz. But, I’m very strong willed so when the Gods send me a message, they need to really hammer it home in order for me to accept it. So in 2011, I started seeing the number eleven.

Everywhere.

Like proper stalked by it.

I’d wake up at 01:10. My checkout bill would come to £29.29 (I see variations of 11 too). I moved in to a house #65. My radio would rescan itself and stop on a station with 11’s in it. Like, it was proper ridiculous and I wrote about what keep seeing the number 11 means HERE.

But what that experience taught me was that God, the universe, your higher self, your angel team, whoever you believe guides your life, is listening. And more importantly, they are trying to help. 

But, because life is weird they like to leave you cryptic messages. You know, just to make it interesting.

So what does that mean for you? Well I’m going to teach you how to spot an omen. First of all it will be something that makes you go ‘mmmm that was weird’ like if you’re thinking about your mate who owns a red car. And then you see three cars all lined up at the traffic lights all the exact same cherry red colour that your mate absolutely loves and you go ‘hmm, that’s weird’ Then you need to call your mate. ASAP.

And I guarantee your mate will go, ‘I was just thinking about you’ or ‘I’m so glad you called I’m feeling really down at the minute’

Another example was I was thinking of writing to someone I lost contact with. It was a weird situation and we had a lot of unfinished business and I really wanted to put it all to rest. But I wasn’t sure if it would be a good idea or open a big can of worms so I said a little prayer. ‘Can you show me a sign please, I’m a bit confused’ and 10 minutes later, as I was walking my children to school, a big black crow flew passed followed by a single magpie.

Now if I wasn’t open to receiving (cryptic) messages, I probably wouldn’t have noticed the birds at all. But because I was actively looking for a sign I was primed to look for things that were unusual and stood out. So when the two birds flew overhead, I remembered that black crows, in Norse mythology are messenger birds and are linked to death and crossing over into the next world. And magpies, well, everyone knows the rhyme:

One for sorrow,

Two for joy,

Three for a girl,

Four for a boy,

Five for silver,

Six for gold,

Seven for a secret never to be told

 So a black grow followed by a magpie for me was an omen that read: If you send the message, sorrow will follow.

So I didn’t send it. I trusted those things that were left unsaid will be dealt with further down the tapestry of my life.

Now, did you clever folks out there noticed that I used the word primed to see omens? Because in psychology we know that when you are focused on something, you see more of it. Ever thought of buying a new car, then you see that exact make and model everywhere?!

That’s because your clever little brain was primed to think about it, so your subconscious was constantly on the look out for it.

That’s why shifting your mindset is so damn important because then your primed for success and happiness and will see those opportunities around you. If you remain primed on fear and anger, you find a million things a day to piss you off and therefore remain focused in that negative energy.

Anyway, back to omens. So I took my little birdies as an omen because it made me go, hhmmmm that was weird. Which in turn made me think about what I knew about birds and how that message would relate to me. (This is where your higher self comes in)

But how do I know when a sign is a true omen? Or a message from my guardian angels (or whatever) and not just a primed coincidence?

Well think about it. What were the chances of 2 different species of birds flying so close together, the messenger bird in front and a sorrow bird behind. There was no birds or trees around. Why were they flying over a quiet road at the exact moment I turned the corner and looked up in time to see them flying overhead?

Not a coincidence. Definitely an omen.

An omen is one that I like to think has been pre arranged. A coincidence, is one that is just priming. For example, I am going away to Belfast in a couple of weeks. As I was crossing a road, I was thinking maybe I should put the trip off because my little girl is very clingy at the moment. I’m not going with my family, just me and my Mum.

So as I was crossing the road, a Guinness wagon went passed. Definitely an omen, not a coincidence. For that lorry to take that route and to stop at the traffic lights just as I was crossing thinking about Ireland, was definitely not a coincidence. And I’m almost sure we’re not living in Matrix.

Wanna another example? I’ve got a client who runs a very successful café and has a lot of investment properties. She’s had a series of really bad life upheavals and is having a really tough time. I did two coaching sessions with her then haven’t heard from her for weeks. This often happens though when I help people along their journey. Once they’re over their hurdle they can keep moving forward so I always take it as no news is good news.

So this morning, I was thinking I really need to pop in and see how she’s getting on (and maybe get a brekkie in the process)

And as I was thinking this, as I turned the corner her husbands car was parked right there in front of me and he was getting out the car at the exact moment I turned the corner. And he said ‘Can you call in and see her she’s been trying to get hold of you but lost your number when she replaced her phone’.

Again it could have been a coincidence but I knew it wasn’t. Because I have never, ever seen her husband on that corner or any other road I travel down when I’m walking my children to school and the chances of me actually thinking about her at the time I turned the corner is uncanny.

Now you could say it was the law of attraction. I was thinking about her so the opportunity to see her turned up. But I was debating seeing her another day and going straight to my office instead. But when I got there she had some really good news to tell me. She had been wanting to see me too. So her husband had been moved into my path in order to convey the message that I needed to hear. To reaffirm what my gut instinct was telling me: to go and see her today instead of tomorrow.

Now what made it even more fantastic was while I was enjoying my rare cup of tea (im a coffee junky through and through) I kept wanting to leave. But every time I’d get ready to put my coat on the rain would come pelting down. And because I hate the cold, I stayed where I was.

Three times this happened and after the second time I took it as an omen. Stay where you are. Not because I’m a weird little witch who believes everything is a sign, but because with each down pour I felt a little pull in my gut. A little tingle along my spidey senses

Stay it whispered.

The feeling getting stronger every time I wanted to leave.

So I stayed, and ordered another brew and began writing this blog waiting for whoever or whatever was meant to cross my path to turn up.

Not long after the two ladies at the next table stood up to leave. The younger one, groaned in pain as she rose. ‘Mum, my backs still killing me’ she said.

I glanced to the new baby at their side.

‘Is he yours?’ I casually asked.

‘No he’s mine’ said the mother ‘I’ve got four. (Like me) He’s my youngest. She’s my eldest’

‘I’ve got two myself’ said the daughter (she was about 22)

So I told them both about how your hips change position when you’re pregnant. How your spine becomes misaligned. Of how carrying a baby around on your hip, then a toddler for a couple of years on top of leaning forward pushing a pram for two years can really mess up your back. I told her about how I go and see a chiropractor after every pregnancy in order to realign my spine and how doctors will, unfortunately only treat the symptom with pain relief.

And do you know what happened then? We got talking and it turns out the daughter is suffering from general anxiety and how she hates going out the house. So I told her about depression and anxiety and how your brain gets stuck on traumatic events and what she needs to tell her doctor so she can get referred to CBT as it really helped me get over my PTSD.

Then as we got chatting some more her Mum mentioned that she lost her Mum during her pregnancy and she’s really not coping with the loss. So I was able to explain to her how I lost my dad during my last pregnancy too and how I know how sad and hard that is. I also told her that her mum was with her and how she can raise her vibration in order to make it easier to sense her mum.

(you do this by thinking of all the happy times, not focusing on that one day or the sadness when they left)

And as it turned out this lady was my daughters dinner lady and her son was in my sons class but we’d never properly met because I pick my daughter up first.

More coincidences kept popping up (her name is Claire too), reaffirming to me how this conversation was an important turning point for them. How the daughter would be able to get help for her depression and anxiety which in turn will make her a happier parent. How the Mum can now ease the suffering in her heart at the loss of her own mum, especially as Mothers Day is not far off. And how all the terrible things I’ve overcome has allowed me to help those two women on their way which made me feel good too.

But imagine if I hadn’t paid attention to those omens. If I hadn’t listened to my gut.

Your life is important.

You are important. This journey that you’re on, will change the world and I believe, with everything I have learned so far, that we are guided.

That we are nudged in the right direction.

That we are shown little crumbs to help us along our path.

I also believe that spirit teams also enjoy fucking with our heads a bit too!

So watch out for those omens.

Pay attention to reoccurring weird things. To that tingle in your spidey sense or that little pull in your gut. When something stands out of place in the world take note, pay attention to it.

Try to figure out what it means for you.

You will eventually develop your own language of code. And once you start learning your code, it’s much easier to follow your path and find fulfillment in your destiny.

Even if it does feel like you’re playing charades some days!

What does it take to succeed in business

So I’ll be honest, it’s been a tough week here in the Kristensen household. I have four children and last Monday I woke up with a bit of a sore throat. I went to my office, got on with the day. By Wednesday I had tonsillitis, my two eldest were vomiting, my three year old broke out in chicken pox, Tonny was dying of man flu and vomiting and the baby, god love her, had a bit of everything including conjunctivitis!

So this week has been tough as hell. So I’ll keep this weeks blog short because to be honest, im still wiped out and we’re all still quite ill. No longer full blown sick, but not better either.

So what got me thinking was an innocent question from a very good friend,

“Queenie” she said,

“How do you do it all? How do you cope?” as I sat sniffling and coughing on the phone.

And it took me a few minutes to figure it out.

“Unending perseverance” that’s how I cope.

Because this path that we’re on (Not just me, but you too my friend) it takes balls. A will to chase your dreams that is stronger than your fear of failing.

Because we do fail on this path. We get tired and pushed about. We have weeks like this where the chips are down and you’re so damn tired. Where you just want to curl up in a ball and die for while.

career coach

But you don’t, you keep going. Keep plodding on.

But because of all my training and all the time and money ive invested in mindset work, I didn’t push on, I took the time to heal this week. I took the time to stop.  Even though there was work unfinished, even though there is an important deadline creeping slowly towards me, I stopped.

Everything.

Because time is relevant and I have learned we are masters of our own fate. If we choose to be

But that too has to be a conscious choice.

To decide that you will run your life, your time, your hours.

People say I’m lucky. That I can take a week off work without a bother in the world. But it’s not luck, I engineered my career that way.

When I had my eldest, I drew a line in the sand. I had worked since I was 15. I had jobs that had required me to work 16 hour shifts, weekends, bank holidays, miss family parties. Hell I even had a job were I had to work from 3 in the afternoon until 7 in the morning and the shift was that shitty that MY BOSS offered me a bag of speed just to get through the shift! (I know shocking huh!)

So when my little’uns came along, time with them, time for them, became one of my non negotiables.

So I engineered my career around them. And once I was free to follow my own path, I did the same for my husband.

And I was able to retire him from work at 41!

Because what it takes to achieve your dreams isn’t millions in the bank. It isn’t wishes of ‘when I win the lottery’.

It is unending perseverance.

The ability to pick yourself up and keep going no matter how many times you get knocked down.

To see your setbacks not as a failure, but as part of the learning curve. To find a way,  no matter what.

I grew up on a council estate in one of the poorest areas in the UK to a single mum in the 80’s when she had to work two jobs to look after my brother and I.

So trust me when I say you can fulfil your dreams. You can have a job that works round your family. You can have a life you love.

I’m not lucky. Im just bloody stubborn!

And I’d love to help your go after your dreams too.  Because you deserve to be happy. You deserve to be able to slob at home on the couch with your kids.

You deserve to be able to rest when you need to.

We all do.

 

Why stress is as addictive as sex

We all do it don’t we? Get up early for work, scoff a crappy sandwich for lunch. Go for a few beers after work which sometimes, (if you’re lucky) turns into a drinking binge and an awesome night out.

We get up and we get on with it. Sometimes we get sick, sometimes we get tired, but we keep pushing. And if you’ve got kids, well there’s no such thing as a day off. Even when someone else looks after them for you, you’re still worrying about them. Worrying did you remember to wash their uniforms or pack their favourite teddy that they can’t possibly sleep without? Is it going to rain, is it going to be sunny will they be too hot or too cold? We push and we push until one day you wake up broken and are too tired or ill to push on. But if you’re anything like me, well, even that won’t keep you down for long. Because some of us (inadvertently) thrive on doing it all.

When life becomes tough it can feel overwhelming and some people crack under the weight. But oh, how dangerous it is, when you learn to love it. To thrive under pressure, to push yourself to the limit and win. To do those extra few push ups at the gym. To run that extra mile. To go to one more shop before it closes, to leave all your Christmas shopping to the last minute.

Some of us are hunters by nature. Some of us are warriors. Some of us avoid pain and stress (Like nurtures and gatherers) and some of us, well, we god damn thrive on it. 

Now if you’re a nurturer or a gatherer you won’t get it. Why would anyone enjoy pain? But you too will fall victim to the ‘pushing it’ rule. Because it’s what we’re taught at school.

Did you ever notice that no matter how well you did at school there was always another hurdle to jump? You got put into a higher set. Moved to the top of the class. Passed that exam? Here’s a harder one. No matter how hard you try the goal posts were always moved. And while yes sometimes it makes you thrive academically, it also makes you stressed as hell as a teenager.

Did you know children as age 12 and are be prescribed antidepressants?

Stress, is addictive. Did you know?

Did you know that cortisol makes your heart pump faster, your eyes dilate. Your lungs crave more oxygen as the fight or flight response trips, so your breathing increases. Your skin becomes flushed and when you achieve something you thought you wouldn’t be able to do, your body dumps a load of dopamine into the mix.

So you get that lovely high.

That sense of achievement. Of a job well done.

You know that lovely feeling of calm that settles over your racing heart?

Well that’s addictive.

Wanna know why?

Because all these symptoms are the same ones that happen during sex!

career coach

Do you see now, why maybe; just maybe,

you might be addicted to stress?

Addicted to that lovely, adrenal fueled high?

I know, shocker right?

So what’s a girl (or boy) to do? Well congratulations, you’ve took the first step.

You are now aware that actually the reason why you push and push and push, is because you’re addicted to the high that you get from being stressed. The rush you get from beating the odds. Of achieving that unachievable deadline or goal.

And it’s such an easy trap to fall into because we are conditioned for it at school. Why do you think children aren’t allowed to be off school sick? It has nothing to do with education. Finland has one of the best education system in the world, and they only go to school for 4 hours a day and have no homework. They study the arts and music just as much as literature and language. And their educational results are phenomenal.

We are taught at a young age that stress is an ok state to live in. But it’s not.

It’s not normal at all.

Because it makes you tired and cranky and irritable. It increases health risks including heart disease. So my love, you’ve got to learn to chill out. And I don’t mean the smoked herbal kind of chill out.

I mean you need to take an actual look at your life and see where exactly you are stressed, why you continue to live in that emotional state; and more importantly, what you need do about it.

You have to make time to rest. And I don’t just mean get pissed more often with your mates. That’s blowing off steam, which is great. Laughter is a huge balm to the soul.

But you really do need to learn to stop pushing all the time. I’ll bet when you take a good long look at where you are most stressed in your life, you’ll find a lot of it is self inflicted.

Always late for the school run or work? Get up earlier, don’t faff round.

Hate your job? Why haven’t you gone for a nicer one?

Money stress? Why did it end up out of control? Not who’s fault it was, but what can you do about it now?

Feel agitated during the day? Eat little and often to maintain your blood sugar levels then you won’t turn into a Hangry Monster

To be honest, I’m the worst one for it. And it took me a long time to realise that I thrive on stress and as a result I self sabotage in order to get that high. So I force myself not to.

And its damn hard.

But just like happiness, stress is also a choice.

You can’t change what’s happening to you, but you can change how you respond to it.

You are the master of your fate and the captain of your soul as Henley so eloquently put it.

So don’t let life push you about, especially when you are the one doing all the pushing.

Stop. Take a step back.

And a deep breath.

And choose peace.

I don’t meditate (im far too busy) I don’t do yoga (it makes me sleepy) I don’t drink green tea to relax (can’t stand the stuff. Black coffee is my drug of choice. And it’s got more antioxidant properties in it anyway) but I do force myself to be still.

And it’s bloody hard.

Yesterday, I spent the entire day slouching round in my hoody reading an awesome fantasy book. (when my kids weren’t trying to eat it) and it helped. It really does. But I’ll be honest. It was hard work to do nothing all day. It goes so totally against my nature. And I’ll be totally honest. Im not all about the flowers and rainbows and mantras (oh my!) I grew up on a council estate for gods sake. Despite the day of rest I’m still tired (4  kids people!) and I do still feel a bit drained.

But do you know, I’m not angry today. Im not ratty with my kids or irritated by the cue in the shop. Because yesterday I knew I had to stop before I pushed myself too far.

I’m learning to slow down because you can achieve it all.

Everything you’ve set out to do.

You will get there. You don’t need to push.

You can stop and smell the flowers or listen to the birds sing.

Time is relative and really it’s the only true thing of value you really have. So don’t fill up your time with stress.

And as ironic as it sounds,

Force yourself to find peace,

Because when you’re relaxed, it’ll all flow to you anyway.

Can I ask you, are you happy?

When was the last time you felt truly happy? Like actually completely content? Tough one init? It’s shocking isn’t it when you look back over the last few days, weeks or years and see that those moments are a lot harder to identify then if I said, ‘when was the last time someone made you swear?’ (Me; about 40 minutes ago. Sunday night bath time!)

So that’s what I wanted to tell you about this week.

Bliss.

Now we all have our secret hopes, wishes and dreams. Some of us are working hard to bring those dreams to reality. Some, unfortunately, haven’t yet learned that anything is possible. (Big silver rocket propelled tin cans flying through the air peeps!🛫)

You may have your vision board, daily mantras and goal lists of all the things you want. But when you break those dreams and lists down, what we are all really searching for, is happiness.

You want a big house? Why? Because it will make you feel content being at home in beautiful surroundings.

Amazing car? Why? For me, well, I’m a speed freak. I love driving and I like to floor it. The thrill makes me happy.

But what we often don’t see, while we are looking at those big goals, is the tiny steps it takes to get there. We think in leaps and bounds, but it doesn’t work that way.

Success, like happiness, needs to be a regular choice. You have to choose to overlook the hiccups and frustrating times and focus solely on the good.

And do you know what prompted this blog? Being caught in the cold icy rain that is currently belting it down here in Liverpool.

A few nights ago I had forgotten to pick up bread for my kids packed lunch. So I had to go the supermarket after the little’uns went to bed. It isn’t far so I bundled myself up in my big winter waterproof coat (Blessing number 1) and pulled on  my awesome fur lined Caterpillar boots (Blessing number 2) and as I traipsed down the road in the blistering cold, do you know what I saw?

That the rain was absolutely beautiful.

Yes it was colder then a penguin’s bum, but to see the shimmer as it drifted passed the street lights was just sooo beautiful.

When I walked across the car park a cars headlights lit up a patch of the road and it brought a smile to my face watching the rain dance across the puddles. It made me feel like a care free kid again. Splashing in the rain just for the sheer fun of it.

And when I got home I made the most delicious cup of Mocha. All rich and warm and silky smooth. The hint of coffee blending so perfectly with the rich hot chocolate. (Blessing number 3)

And I curled up in my beautiful new livingroom (blessing no 4) and just melted into the cushions, still chilled from the winters walk but content as the warmth from the cup caressed my cold fingers and the rain gently tap danced across the frosted window.

Bliss.

Pure, unfiltered, bliss.

But that was my choice. To see a cold winters walk as an opportunity to explore the world around me in a different light.

Obviously my initial thought was aggghhh I’ve got to go out in that. And it’s cold and dark and I don’t want to move. Imagine my walk if I had chosen to stay in that frame of mind? Chose not to make it an adventure. I would have kept my head down to avoid the cold. I would have bitched and moaned about the cold and wet all the way there and all the way back and I would have been in a foul mood when I got back.

I wouldn’t have looked up in to the wind and saw how the street lights made the rain shimmer.

Or I would have moaned about muddy boots as I stomped across the car park oblivious to the little water party in every puddle.

I would have missed all the little gifts along the way.

All life’s little pleasure, free for us to enjoy.

So on these dark, cold, winters’ nights; as we wait for spring to return,

Look for your own bliss.

Find happiness wherever and whenever you can.

Laugh, smile, shiver in the cold and enjoy the warmth as you return home.

All blessings. All a form of bliss.

All within your grasp, my friend.

All there for you to enjoy.

Happiness is a choice.

Always.

  ❤

career coach

What to do when things don't go according to plan

So, I keep a little list on my phone of all the random things that pop into my head throughout the week. My blog list.

And as I’ve just sat down at my desk to scroll through the list I deleted one that I have already used. But, like a knobhead, it deleted the entire file instead. (Don’t ask me how. Stuff like that always happens with me and technology. One of the down sides of having a strong energy field 😂 I can’t even wear a watch🤦‍♀️)

So, this week, lets talk about when things don’t go according to plan. If you’re anything like me, you’ve probably got this big vision of how you want your life to be. Of all the things you want to be, do and have. That’s the big vision. But on a day to day basis we also have a mental list of all the little things we need to be, do and have too.

So when things don’t go according to plan, it can piss you right off.

Now, me losing my blogs is a pretty big deal to be honest. It’s months worth of ideas and insights (Some of them drunken insights too) It helps me help the world and helps people find me. But it actually hasn’t bothered me losing it because one of the hardest lessons I’ve had to learn is the Art of Surrender. It took two life threatening situations and months of bed rest in order for this lesson to sink in to my stubborn, pretty little head.

But what I learned from those very traumatic experiences was that: I am a control freak. I like to micro manage. And when things don’t go according to plan. It stresses me out. BIG TIME.

However, what I also (eventually) learned was that the reason I needed to micro manage was because there had been times in my life (like nearly being raped) where things were massively out of control and it made me afraid. But I react to fear with a fighters response. So when I’m afraid, I get angry. So when things don’t go according to plan, subconsciously, my fight or flight response triggers, I feel agitated, and I get narky. (Nothing like a good old cortisol adrenaline cocktail to shake up your day, is there?)

But, and here’s the biggie: the last time I was stuck in hospital (for 90 days) I came to realise that pushing all the time doesn’t work for me. I work better in Flow.

So I’ve found that life is a much more pleasant experience if we think of our goals as an island. A destination. Somewhere we want to end up. Eventually.

Life is an adventure and there isn’t much fun going directly from A straight to B so I want you to think of yourself as a Captain on an old pirate ship (Go on, I dare ya’ )

You can see your island on the horizon. You know where it is. It’s not going anywhere. It might slip out of view now and again, but it hasn’t disappeared. Right?

Now some people (like before me) would paddle hell bent to go straight forward. And as the tide carried me further away id be like “NOoooo. For fucks sake I need to go this way. Aggggghhhh!” But you know what?

That was the fear talking.

Fear that I wouldn’t make it.

Fear that something bad was going to happen.

Fear that it was all out of control.

Fear because I didn’t know what was coming next.

And that my dears is the crux of the problem.

When things don’t go according to our plan we feel like we’ve lost control. And when we’ve lost control, we feel we’ve become weak and vulnerable.

It’s not a conscious thing. It’s a fight or flight warning bell going off at the wrong time.

And what I didn’t realise, and you probably haven’t either, is that those anxieties can show up in the smallest detail. Running out of milk. The kids being late for school. Not being able to go down the road you always go down or missing your train. (OCD anyone?)

Or even not being able to get your usual brand of coffee and finding yourself hunting round the supermarket like an angry Neanderthal. Fuming.

Because something changed.

And you weren’t expecting it. 

So (for some of us) anxiety kicks in, masked as anger or frustration.

When I was in hospital, I had absolutely no choice but to put my trust in everyone else to keep me and my baby safe. I couldn’t micro manage anything. Instead I had to learn to let go and endure. But from that experience, I learned that actually, we don’t need to sweat the small stuff. Or even the large stuff for that matter. Because change is inevitable.

So eventually I chose to let go of the fear.

And it has to be a conscious choice. Because really, that’s the only thing you can actually change.

The only choice there is really.

Because we are meant to get to our island. It’s just that sometimes where meant to take the scenic route. Because while you’re looking over there you’re not seeing what’s over here.

I know it’s hard to let go. To trust that there is a plan for you.

But my experiences taught me it’s ok for you to go with the flow. Nothing bad will happen. And if it does, you’re a tough cookie right? You know you can deal with it. You’ll adapt and overcome it.

So the next time things don’t go according to plan, take a step back and remember its ok to surrender to fate. The tide might be pulling you a different way, but that’s ok. You’re just going on a detour. Even if it’s something as simple as having to catch a different bus.

Because the minute you let go and surrender to the flow, you’ll stop pushing. And instead you’ll learn to take in the scenery and just happily bob along, enjoying the journey.

Muggles and Madness Oh MY!

So following on from last weeks run in with a Born Again Christian, this week I wanted to say: Beware of Muggles!

So my good friend (and famous artist) LostHills_ were having a good old chat the other day about weird and wonderful stuff. We were talking about the power of the moon and how he really feels more creative under a Full Moon so that’s when he works on his main pieces. Then we started taking about grounding yourself and the ebb and flow of energy and how tricky life can be when your empathic. You know the usual sort of conversation you have on a Monday morning!

So I was telling him about my run in with the Born Again Christian which was really weird. Being a healer and a life coach (and empathic) I often sense things from people and often bump into random people who need my help. It nearly always happens when I’m running late. For example a few months ago I was running late and missed my train. Having done lots of work on my personal development I didn’t let it worry me because I knew there must be a reason. My next train came and off I went.

When I got off the train I was walking along the deserted platform and as I got to the end there was a women there who looked really lost and confused. I asked her if she was ok (Im a northerner, that’s what we do) She said “Do you know the way to the trains?” I said yes and pointed back the way I came.

Now the station is a very well marked and easy to navigate but she looked really disoriented. So I chatted to her for a few more minutes and she said that she been really forgetful lately so I told her how I used to be the same until I stopped eating wheat. I was also able to tell her that her asthma and eczema where probably caused by dairy intolerance as I was able to ‘cure’ myself of asthma even though I had had it for over 30 years. (Wow that makes me sound old!)

Basically, I did what I always do, I knowledge bombed the poor women! But, she was grateful for the information and we went our separate ways.

So when the Born Again Christian lady stopped me in the middle of the (deserted) street and told me that she felt drawn to me because “I or someone I know is going through a tough time and God told me to pray for you” I had to laugh. I was in fact on my way to counselling and this was the first time I’d been on the receiving end of a street healing bomb.

However, I happened to say to this women “Oh that’s lovely. I’m a psychic medium and often get drawn to people who need my help” and then she looked at me like I had literally turned into the Devil! She back peddled quicker then a duck on speed and started trying to tell me that it was the Devil whispering in my ear and to be wary.

Now to be honest this really pissed me off. I’ve had run ins with dark side so I know the difference. I’ve always been intuitive since I was a very little girl. I pointed out to her that I am very much a healer, I was raised a Catholic and I see my ‘gifts’ as gifts from God or whatever you want to call the higher energy. It obviously didn’t occur to her that the voices she was hearing could also be from the darkside or that she (or I) might be schizophrenic. I know im weird. But im wise enough to know that I everything I’ve ever learned about angels and spiritualism might be completely wrong too.  I might be completely nuts. So might she. Who knows?

So, not only did I have to convince this women I’m not an agent of the Devil, but I also had to say out loud, that I believe in Jesus because apparently bad people can’t say Jesus without dissolving into a puddle or something. (Im melting!)

 

So when I was telling my mate LostHills_ he thought it was hilarious. He was like, “You know what Queenie, people like us just see a world full of magic. People like her can’t see passed what they’ve been told to see which is really really sad” He was laughing at the sheer irony of little me (who wants to heal the world) being suspect of being an agent of darkness and he said, “See, you’ve got to be wary of these Muggles. They just don’t get it!”

So my friend if you’re a Muggle, good for you. If you’re holding magic inside of you that you’d love to bring to the world, then come and hang around with us. To quote the Cheshire Cat

“We’re all mad here!”

Join the gang by clicking HERE

were all mad.jpg

The Power of Faith

So over Christmas I thought it would be a good idea to talk about faith. But to be completely honest, I moved house, so  I ended up taking December off (one of the joys of being self employed) And as we fall into the energetic lift of the new year, I find myself still pondering the power of faith. So here it is:

You are enough.

When I talk about faith I don’t mean religion. Faith is a huge part of religion obviously, but what I have discovered on my little’ol’ souls journey is that most religions, at their core, preach the same core lessons. Love, forgiveness and overcoming adversity. Faith comes in many shapes and forms but when we think of faith we automatically think of religion. But faith and religion are two different things. I bumped into a Born Again Christian the other day which inspired this blog. When I told her I communicate with spirit, she looked at me like I was the Devil! She thought my poor little soul had been corrupted. Until I pointed out that I have had my gifts since I was a child which I believe was definitely a gift from God. I’m a healer through and through. That stumped her a bit! But it got me thinking again about the power of faith and how it has been overshadowed by religion.

I believe in the ever lasting power and development of my soul. One that doesn’t need to sit on a big old fluffy cloud feeling peaceful and happy forever and a day. I’m a go’getter; even on a soul level. So I can see (and anyone who knows me personally would know) that I probably got really bored, really quickly, hanging round fluffy clouds all day and night. So I definitely believe in multiple lives. Energy is never created or destroyed, it just changes form. Scientific fact.

I’m very much in to science (yes im a geek and damn proud of it) and I’m very much into the law of attraction too. One of the ‘secrets’ of the law of attraction and manifestation is faith. And as I am (slowly) starting to get better at flexing my manifestation muscle, I realised that as an entrepreneur you have to have massive amounts of faith in yourself. And I think this is where religion and spiritual people and scientist all come at loggerheads.

Religious people believe power comes from an external source. Spiritual people also believe the same but usually in the form of guardian angels and spirit teams as opposed to one almighty God. (Yes I know religious people believe in Angels or ‘higher beings’ too but I’m trying to keep it simple here!) Scientist believe in the power of physics; of the ebb and flow of molecules that form and flow in a (hopefully) predictable manner. (Except for ya’know Chaos Theory and all’that)

But I’ve come to learn that actually your beliefs, whatever they are, are correct for you. No one is right or wrong as all our lives lead back Home. Home to you might be back to your Gods Grace. It might be Heaven, Shamayim or Jannah, or you might believe your molecules breakdown and go back into the nitrogen cycle, back into the circle of energy or be reincarnated back into the Circle of Life. Your life experiences and your souls journey has led you to a belief system that works for you (which is why we should respect other peoples beliefs even if they are different to our own).

But whatever you believe requires a leap of faith. A belief in a power of something bigger then ourselves. But what I want you to consider is that actually the power comes from you.

If you need something and are religious you will pray for that thing to be brought to you. And ‘God’* will provide it for you. If you’re spiritual you’ll manifest the shit out of that thing until it appears. If you’re a scientist or an atheist you will work diligently to bring that thing to reality.

 *(I’m gonna keep saying God because it’s quicker than copying and pasting God/Allah/The Universal Power/etc/etc/etc)

But consider this: what ever your belief, you are the starting point. Your thoughts wishes and prayers are what pushes the thought out of your mind and into reality and the more you believe you will be provided for, the quicker that thing will be given to you. Because when you’re desperate for it, you put more power into the thought. So do you see that it is really just you that creates the faith? That the power is not external but rather something you push forward into the world with all the power, dedication and belief in your heart?

So consider this: you are enough. When we feel frustrated, or happy. When we feel rewarded or let down. Non of it matters. Because so long as you remember to have faith in yourself you will always be enough. You will always have enough. Because you have the ability to change. You have the ability to recognise what’s working for you and what isn’t. To shift your thoughts and your feelings and your habits. To create a life that makes you happy. Or sad. You shift your thoughts, have faith that change is possible, then you shift your life by waiting for that thing to materialise. But Faith is the key. And the stronger your faith is in your own power the easier your path will become.

Remember that your thoughts (or prayers) are the seeds that grow and faith is how we nourish them. So if you just remember that the more you have faith in yourself, the more you fill your heart up with love for yourself the easier it is for God/The Law of Attraction/Fate to provide all that you want or need. Your thoughts have power and faith is the driving force.

Lucky Bamboo

It’s frustrating isn’t it, when you have all these big dreams. When you work hard for years but sometimes feel like you’re not making progress. To everyone around you, you seem to be though. Maybe you have a nice family and a good car. A beautiful home and are well paid. A life to be envious of? But deep down, you still feel unsatisfied. For me the progress I’ve made doesn’t seem enough and I’m about to move into a £200k house! But if I’m honest, it’s just not enough. Because I have a very big vision of the world I want to live in. Yes it includes nice cars and homes, luxury holidays and designer stilettos. But actually, after spending 3 years working on my Money Mindset, I’ve come to realise, the money will always come but it’s the work that’s important. The money was my driving force but actually, my soul is yearning for something bigger. And that’s why I always feel unsatisfied. Because I feel unfulfilled.

So I pulled an oracle card for myself last night, in the hopes of some clarity, as you do; and as always, it hit the nail on the head. My deck is depicted with beautiful images of Kuan Yin (By Alana Fairchild). Kuan Yin is a Buddhist Diety often depicted with many arms, each holding a different tool. And that resonates with me because of the amount of different skills I have.

The beauty of Kuan Yin is that she never knows which tools are needed, she trusts that she will have the right one available when she needs it. Like a centipede with a hundred legs; she just trusts that she won’t fumble or get caught up in herself. She trusts her instincts and her journey and knows that she we be able to cope with whatever comes along. When you’re walking, you don’t have to think about what your legs, bones and muscles need to do, do you? You just walk and eventually you get to where you want to go. Kuan Yin has faith that she has the right tool and will know whats needed so she has faith that it will all turn out as it’s meant to, so why worry? (Analysis Paralysis we call it in the business world)

So I pulled this beautiful card and it talked about the power of bamboo. I’m pining for something bigger then myself right now which I find incredibly annoying and frustrating. Patients in not one of my virtues! But the card reminded me of Bamboo. For years it hides underground. Digging in its roots, absorbing the rain, building its strength. Changing on a cellular level. But from above, well it’s just dirt isn’t it? But once the timing is right, Bamboo goes through a massive acceleration and grows to massive heights seemingly overnight.

So what I wanted to say to you this week is: what if you (and I) just have faith that everything we need to support us is going on behind the scenes. And when the timing is right, everything and everyone will pop up just when it’s needed to help you grow into this amazing person the world needs you to be.

The acorn doesn’t panic it’s not going to become an Oak. It just accepts that’s where it will end up someday. So trust that you are growing, every single day. Everything you need will be provided, when the timing is right. Trust in the process. Gather your strength. And have faith that you’ll be ready when the time comes.

Oracle Deck by  Alana Fairchild  illustrated by Zeng Hao

Oracle Deck by Alana Fairchild illustrated by Zeng Hao