Break the rules and set yourself free

So I learned something really cool recently that is a big ‘aha’ on how to unlock your amazing life. Now I kind of already knew this but,  when you’re learning anything new, it needs to be presented to you in a few different ways before it sinks in. SO, what I learned was we are basically all 7 year olds running round ruling the world.

Shocking huh?

Let me explain,

Ever heard the saying ‘Give me a boy till he’s seven and I’ll show you the man’? Yeah well its true because in early adolescence our conscious mind isn’t developed enough to control our behaviour. We are solely driven by our subconsciousness which has a wonderful ability to live in the moment, not worry about things that haven’t happened yet and explore the world around us with a zest for life that some of us unfortunately loose as we get older.

Now the thing that I find really interesting and that made me go ‘Aha’ is that during our early childhood and adolescence, we are governed not by our own free will, but everyone elses rules about what we should and shouldn’t do.

Or more importantly, who we should be. Did you parents want you to be quiet and submissive? Were you told to not explore the world around you because “you could fall” Were you told to “sit still”, “pay attention”, “be good”. All admiral demands for the given situation I’m sure. But what if you were given instructions that stifled your creativity or suppressed that wonderful adventurous soul you had?

 Or worse yet, were taught that if you’re angry its ok to blame the nearest person to you, to kick and punch and hurt them in order to make yourself feel better. Or to lie and cheat and manipulate those around you?

So we are subjected to a variety of external input that stamps our subconscious mind with a list of rules and regulations that we, in our beautiful childhood innocence, take as the gospel truth. And so as we grow into adulthood and our conscious mind takes over the driving seat, we find ourselves propelled along by rules that will, if you’re not aware of them, put a big fat blocker on the future that you are working so hard to create.

So I want you to have a little think. And if you can be arsed, write a little list of what your family norms are. Good and bad, what was your family’s culture?

My family culture on my Mums side was one of love, tenderness, reassurance and unconditional support. My Dads side of the family was very different. Fortunately my Mum became my primary role model and whilst she taught me to be a strong, kind and compassionate lady, she also taught me that I have to work hard to earn money, that success comes with sacrificing family time and that we will always have just enough. And those subliminal messages are the ones that got me to a good job with a decent wage but the latter where also the ones that stopped me fulfilling my true potential;

For a time.

Until I became aware of my upper limits. I learned that we’re living our lives by someone else’s rules.  And you don’t have to. You can choose to recognise your self limiting behavior.

Recognise who gave you this belief. And more importantly. You can tell yourself a new story and become the director of your own life. And that’s when the magic really happens.

Happiness is a choice.

Always xx

Image courtesy of James Wheeler

Image courtesy of James Wheeler