What would you do if you weren't afraid?

So have you noticed that sometimes you think ‘When I have the money I will do ..’

career coach

Now have you also noticed that if you kids suddenly turn round and say they want to learn Kung Fu* or dancing you will literally move Heaven and Earth to give them that opportunity?

Why? Because we want our kids to be happy. We want our kids to understand the joy of exploring new things and trying out something new because we hope, somewhere in the back of our minds, that thing might be something that the absolutely love and will help them become a happier adult. That the’ll find their passion and have a wonderful career because of it.

Now what I can’t wrap my head around is why we don’t give ourselves the same opportunities. Or invest in ourselves in the same way.

Let me give you an example. I know someone who’s got a rip in their trainers. 6 months ago. And every time I see them, the rips still there. However, I also know that that person also paid £600 for a designer coat their teenager wanted. Are they loaded? No.  Did she have a spare £600 to throw around? No. Did she have to work her arse off and save up? You bet she did. But she won’t do the same for herself. I mean she has a catalogue so she could easily just order herself a new pair of trainers but she won’t. Because it’s ingrained in her behaviour that her children’s happiness is more important than her own.

But she’s got it all wrong. Because getting herself new shoes wont detract from anything. Its not like if she buys new shoes she wont be able to feed the kids. It’s not a financial problem. It’s a mindset one.

What it actually boils down to is a feeling of guilt about putting your needs first. But the crazy thing is no one cares! Do you think her children would think she’s being selfish if she bought herself new shoes? Nope. Infact, they’re teenagers, they probably wouldn’t even notice!

But this feeling of guilt can hold us back. The feeling of ‘everyone else is more important than me’ is not a conscious thought. But it is a driving one. And it might very well be the one that’s holding you back.

So I wanted to ask you, what would you love to do?

Now wait! What feeling popped up then??

When you thought of that thing you’ve always wanted to do, what feeling followed it?

Because its that thing that’s holding you back from true happiness. You can do these things. You can find a way. You will find the money. Because that’s not the issue, even though that’s what it looks like on the surface.

I want you to be happy. I want you to live each day with a smile on your face. So go and try something new. Go invest in yourself as much as you do for your kids.

It’s ok to want things. It doesn’t make you selfish or spoiled. When you were a kid and you asked for something you’re normally told no. Can I have more cake, more ice cream, that toy. No, no, no. Because our parents know we are asking out of impulse. But you’re an adult now. You are allowed to have what you want. What you dream of. What you really really want. And more importantly, what your souls calling out for.  

Dreams do come true, but you have to make them your priority. No one else will give you them.

So go and invest in yourself. Make yourself smile. Because when you’re happy, you light up the world round you. And that sets a really good example to your kids. Because what of that thing that your soul is calling for, actually turns out to be your happy ever after?

* Ok its not Kung Fu but check out this video. Seriously this girl is amazing. So devoted to her training and massively talented. See this is what I mean by throw yourself into your passions 110%. Who knows where it’ll lead. Don’t let fear hold you back. Ever!


Credit: Jesse Jane McParland (IRL) Junior WAKO World Championships 2014 courtesy of

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